1 00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,870 ♪ It seems today that all you see 2 00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:08,240 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV 3 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,710 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values 4 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:14,946 ♪ On which we used to rely? 5 00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:18,150 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy 6 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,486 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do 7 00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:23,088 ♪ All the things that make us 8 00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:24,890 ♪ Laugh and cry 9 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:29,894 ♪ He's a family guy ♪ 10 00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:37,380 Hey! Are you a big, fat bastard 11 00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,115 who loves eating at Outback Steakhouse, 12 00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:41,439 but thinks the portions are too small? 13 00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,041 Well, good news, fat-ass, 14 00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:46,511 'cause now there's the Outback Steakhouse Extreme! 15 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:50,248 We don't have a Bloomin' Onion, we have a Bloomin' Pumpkin! 16 00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:51,750 You know what else we got? 17 00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:54,853 Elephant steaks! 50 lb elephant steaks! 18 00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,688 And why don't you wash it down 19 00:00:56,757 --> 00:01:00,024 with 40 ounces of malt liquor and ranch dressing, you fat fuck! 20 00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:09,601 Oh, man, I bet that's where Crocodile Dundee eats every night. 21 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:12,203 Everything in Australia is so fancy. 22 00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:14,150 Yeah, Australia's a beautiful place. 23 00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:17,086 The best thing about going there is you get to fly over the Pacific Ocean. 24 00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:18,888 The greatest ocean of all time. 25 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,590 Tell me you're joking. 26 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,359 Everyone knows that, pound for pound, 27 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:24,060 the Atlantic is the best ocean. 28 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,062 "Pound for pound"? What are you talking about? 29 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,264 You can't weigh the ocean. 30 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:29,988 Yeah, scientists can. They're doing it all the time. 31 00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:31,834 Pick up a book. You're an idiot. 32 00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,625 I'm an idiot? 33 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,534 All anybody remembers about your argument is that you're in a wheelchair! 34 00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,599 Guys, guys, let's stop escalating 35 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,801 and take the stairs for a minute. 36 00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,247 What? What are you talking about? 37 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,405 I'm saying you both are making good points. 38 00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:49,274 But sometimes two rights can make a wrong. 39 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,676 I just like the Pacific Ocean! 40 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:54,513 It's a good ocean. And so is the Atlantic. 41 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,882 Isn't this a beautiful planet you two friends live on? 42 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,886 I guess Cleveland's right. I'm sorry I got so hotheaded. 43 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,956 I'm sorry, too. Here, let me turn your foot back around. 44 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:07,125 It kind of got twisted up in our scuffle there. 45 00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:08,526 Wow, Cleveland. 46 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,028 You calmed them down 47 00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:12,075 just by talking with your mouth and your pretty lips. 48 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:14,310 It's nothing. Just a little something I learned 49 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:17,380 volunteering as a youth counselor down at my church. 50 00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:20,605 Pretty much just boils down to four or five catchphrases. 51 00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:23,519 Like what? Well, there's the "stop escalating" one. 52 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:25,388 There's "What do you think it means?" 53 00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:26,912 "Pray on it, stay on it." 54 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,624 One's just kind of like a noise. 55 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,415 Hmm, mmm? 56 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:31,749 That's amazing. 57 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,019 Hey, you're way too good to be doing that for free. 58 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,586 Maybe you should open up an office. 59 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,100 You know, finally start chipping away at 60 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,990 some of that horrendous debt you've got. 61 00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,169 Yeah, Peter's right. 62 00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:41,537 I mean, it's not like you've found a job 63 00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:42,872 since you moved back here anyway. 64 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,397 You know, that's a not-half-bad idea. 65 00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:50,335 And if I charge my first patient $117,000, I'm right back in it. 66 00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,570 Thanks for spotting my potential, Peter. 67 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,839 Hey, no problem, buddy. I'm pretty perceptive. 68 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,474 That's how I can always tell 69 00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:59,611 which guys in the Wrangler Jeans commercials beat their wives. 70 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,500 All of 'em. 71 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,233 Go around the block again, she's still out front. 72 00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,524 We've gone around six times. Let's just talk to her. 73 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:15,894 Eh, you're right. Rip it off quick like a Band-Aid. 74 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,244 Hey, Meg, you know Mr. Quagmire, right? Bye! 75 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,432 Hey, what's going on here? 76 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,912 Oh, I'm selling my old Beanie Babies to make money for the prom. 77 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,302 That seems optimistic. 78 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,082 But, look, if you want to make real money, 79 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,750 I could try to get you a job at the airport. 80 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,552 They always need new TSA screeners. 81 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,676 Really? Wow, that'd be great! 82 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:34,679 Thanks, Mr. Quagmire. And thanks for taking the time. 83 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,081 Most people aren't usually that nice to me. 84 00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,852 Ugh, gross. 85 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:48,104 Mayor West, after working with you for some time now, 86 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:51,062 I believe you are affecting your weird behaviors. 87 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:53,465 You are doing deliberately odd things 88 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:56,768 to mask dark, maybe even criminal, activities. 89 00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:59,171 You are 100% aware of what you're doing. 90 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,274 I think you're a dangerous sociopath. 91 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:05,410 Cleveland, let me tell you something. 92 00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:09,380 You're absolutely fucking right. 93 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:12,117 Well, time to put on my spaghetti hat! 94 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,790 I just never feel happy. 95 00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:20,825 I strive for these things, and I get them, 96 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:24,195 but at the end of the day, I still don't feel fulfilled. 97 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:28,566 Hmm, this is a problem that requires more tweed. 98 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:34,617 Is it possible you're not letting yourself be happy? 99 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,619 Like you don't feel like you're worth it? 100 00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,576 No, that's not it. 101 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:39,911 Hmm. 102 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,416 Maybe your accomplishments don't feel real 103 00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:46,763 because your brother isn't here to see them. 104 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:50,122 Maybe. That doesn't feel quite right, either. 105 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,190 Hmm. 106 00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:55,093 You don't want to outshine your father. 107 00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,795 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 108 00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,932 Whew. I was damn near out of tweed. 109 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:15,780 Okay, now, see? She didn't say "Good morning" to me, 110 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:18,016 so I put an orange dot on her boarding pass, 111 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,452 which means they're going to search her anus. 112 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,932 I noticed you also circled a bunch of things on her ticket. 113 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,156 Why did you do that? 114 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:26,358 Because otherwise, the line moves too quickly. 115 00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:28,137 You see, the whole thing we're going for 116 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:31,429 here at the TSA is a sort of bored fascism. 117 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,798 Huh, I think I can handle that. 118 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,707 I did not tell you to approach! 119 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,202 Great job! 120 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,581 The worst thing a passenger can do 121 00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:40,950 is approach your podium before you tell them to. 122 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,919 As bad as those 19 hijackers were, 123 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:46,022 the people we see here every day are much worse. 124 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,380 Boy, Larry, there's a lot to remember. 125 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,048 I hope I don't screw something up. 126 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:52,094 Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. 127 00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:53,318 You're basically unfireable. 128 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:54,820 What do you mean? 129 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:58,008 Come on, Meg. Look around. You're the hottest person who works here. 130 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,695 Oh, wow. Now that you mention it, 131 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,830 everybody does look kind of dumpy. 132 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,544 That's not entirely their fault. 133 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,808 They're all told to wear a pair of their dads' pants. 134 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,770 Oh, speaking of which, tomorrow, 135 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:14,198 bring in a pair of your dad's pants. 136 00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:21,112 Peter, you promised me you would do the dishes. 137 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,861 Well, I was doing the dishes for a while, 138 00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:25,816 but they were inexperienced, so I ended up having to rub one out. 139 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,730 Where in the hell did you get the idea that 140 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,865 that's what I meant by "doing the dishes"? 141 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,390 From dirty Amelia Bedelia. 142 00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,692 Almost done vacuuming the rug! 143 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,940 Damn it, Peter, you're making me crazy! 144 00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:40,276 Hey, you know what? Sounds like you need some counseling. 145 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,577 Maybe you should go talk to Cleveland. 146 00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:44,001 Cleveland? Why would I talk to Cleveland? 147 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,781 He's a therapist now, and he's really great 148 00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,439 at helping people with their problems. 149 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,040 Oh, I see. 150 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,820 You want me to tell your best friend my complaints about you 151 00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:53,278 so he can back you up. 152 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:55,324 The new maid is peeing on me! 153 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,460 And she didn't even say anything clever about it! 154 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,484 Look, you're the one who said you were going crazy. 155 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:02,153 Just talk to him. He's all about helping people get well. 156 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,955 Just like Doc Martens. 157 00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:05,857 So, how are you feeling today? 158 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:09,661 Terrible. I've got blurry vision, I feel cold and clammy, 159 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:12,230 and the nurse told me there's blood in my stool. 160 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:14,332 Have you tried wearing a lesbian shoe? 161 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:17,602 What? Put this man down for a pair of lesbian shoes. 162 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:24,208 Huh, high fever, weight loss and extreme respiratory difficulty. 163 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:27,712 Let's have this man intubated and fit with a pair of lesbian shoes. 164 00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:34,363 Hi. Are you the next crazy person? 165 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,187 Um, I guess so. 166 00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,323 I've been pretty depressed since my wife died. 167 00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:41,726 I'm sorry, I'm trying to read the Costco Connection here. 168 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:42,928 There they are! 169 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,273 All right, since you're a patient, 170 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,108 we're gonna talk about you like you're not here. 171 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,899 You get all of her squawking out, Doc? 172 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:51,068 Oh, I think we got to the root of the problem. Didn't we, Lois? 173 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,570 Absolutely. 174 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,073 All right. Let's dope her up good. Turn that mouth off. 175 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,308 No, Peter, the problem is you. 176 00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:58,910 What? 177 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,157 What the hell are you doing? You're supposed to be my friend. 178 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:04,482 Dr. Brown, I just killed nine people! 179 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:08,653 Uh, I mean, I have ducks on my feet. 180 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,723 Old, crazy, harmless Mayor. Quack, quack! 181 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,444 How can Cleveland say I'm the problem? 182 00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:24,113 All I do is sit in the bathroom and play on my phone. 183 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:28,973 Swipe. Wipe. Swipe. Wipe. Wipe. Swipe. Uh-oh. 184 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:32,944 That's a perfect example. You put no effort into this marriage. 185 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:35,780 Cleveland helped me see that our entire relationship has been 186 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:39,016 you doing whatever you want and me cleaning up the mess. 187 00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:43,154 By the way, your Svengali is out there spraying birds with a hose. 188 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,890 Ha, ha. Now you're wet! 189 00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:47,325 Peter, I've had enough. 190 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,661 Cleveland and I think we need to make some changes. 191 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:51,507 Oh, come on. Are you serious? 192 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,798 Yeah. You're gonna start helping around the house, 193 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,700 and we're gonna start doing things together. 194 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:57,335 We do stuff together. 195 00:08:57,404 --> 00:09:00,483 Just last night, I made you keep track of all the words I know. 196 00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:04,409 "Shoehorn." "Engine." "Football." 197 00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,646 Did I say "shoehorn"? Yes. 198 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,481 Okay. "Shoehorns." 199 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,596 Peter, please. I've got an early doctor's appointment tomorrow. 200 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,087 Ooh, "early." "Doctor." Put those on there, too. 201 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,967 Uh, should I also put down "appointment"? 202 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,325 No, I don't know what that means. Oh, "means." 203 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:31,235 Wow, look at the new girl. She's so hot. 204 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,848 Yeah, her breasts and her stomach 205 00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:34,516 are different parts of her body. 206 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:37,808 I think she looks weird. How come she's not shaped like a potato? 207 00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:41,123 That's part of the interview and everything. 208 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,825 Whoa, sorry, ma'am, we can't let you 209 00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:45,850 through security because you're the bomb. 210 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,963 Scott, you're not supposed to make jokes like that! 211 00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:51,523 Well, I am carrying more than three ounces of liquid. 212 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,795 Oh, that's so Muhammad Hota. 213 00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:58,863 You're playing a dangerous game, Scott! 214 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,847 All right, Peter. Cleveland says 215 00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:06,449 you should help with the chores. 216 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,640 So today, we're gonna do laundry together. 217 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:09,940 Okay. How does this work? 218 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,544 Well, you put the wet clothes in the dryer, 219 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,112 you close the door and you wait. 220 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,318 Oh, it just went to 39 minutes! 221 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:23,588 So you just stand here and watch the whole time? 222 00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:27,058 Ah, the green shirt went by again. 223 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:31,128 If it goes around 30 times in five minutes, you get to have a Diet Coke! 224 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,911 All right, according to Cleveland, 225 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:38,036 it's also healthy for couples to have shared activities. 226 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:42,540 So, since you like golf, I thought we could play a round. 227 00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:45,076 So, what do I do? Just aim for the pond? 228 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,923 No, you're not supposed to hit it into the water. 229 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,279 But you hit it into the water. 230 00:10:48,347 --> 00:10:50,225 I know I hit it into the water. 231 00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:52,962 Why do they even have water if you're not supposed to hit it there? 232 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,630 Because it's fun! We're having fun! 233 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,690 Look, it went further than your ball! 234 00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,743 Hey, are you doing anything on Friday? 235 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,533 No, I don't think so. Why? 236 00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:13,437 Well, I'm doing security at the roller rink if you want to come watch me. 237 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,506 Sure! 238 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,841 Great, I'll pick you up at 4:30. 239 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:19,510 Sounds good. All right. Well, I'm up at the podium. 240 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:23,681 Time to make marks on pieces of paper no one will ever see again. 241 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:26,150 I thought we had plans on Friday. 242 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:29,186 Marla, I think we should just be ugly friends. 243 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,897 Damn it, Cleveland has completely ruined my life. 244 00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,743 He's got Lois making me help around the house 245 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,211 and spend more time with her. 246 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,315 My own wife! 247 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,535 I know what you mean, Peter. 248 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,348 He said I've got to be more open and receptive 249 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,706 to what Bonnie wants to do in the bedroom. 250 00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,509 Thank God I can't feel anything back there. 251 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,288 You know what? Screw Cleveland. 252 00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:56,681 He's gonna tell my wife stuff, I'm gonna tell his wife a few things. 253 00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:57,860 What are you talking about? 254 00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,261 Well, remember how Cleveland banged 255 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,029 that stripper at his bachelor party? 256 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,654 Oh, yeah. And we were all throwing bread at them? 257 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,290 Yeah. Maybe I could tell Donna about that. 258 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,894 Or, remember when Cleveland wore briefs under his boxers 259 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:13,030 and we found out and he told us not to say anything? 260 00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,665 Maybe we tell her that. 261 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,233 Uh, I think Peter's is better. 262 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,202 Okay, but we'll keep mine ready. 263 00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:20,105 Could be the nail in the coffin. 264 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,373 Hey, fellas. 265 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,641 Cleveland, it ain't cool what you've been telling Lois. 266 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,910 All right? You're completely messing things up for me. 267 00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,423 And you've got to tell her you were wrong 268 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,858 and put things back the way they were. 269 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:30,559 I'm sorry it's hard for you, Peter, 270 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,943 but personal growth isn't always easy. 271 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,186 Look, if you don't change what you're saying, 272 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,565 we're gonna tell Donna you slept with 273 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,829 that stripper at your bachelor party. 274 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,267 What are you doing? 275 00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,713 I'm gonna play Locomotive Breath by Jethro Tull while he runs. 276 00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:54,016 Why the hell would you do something stupid like that? 277 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:57,642 Careful, Peter, or you're gonna lose two friends today. 278 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,328 We now return to Major League Baseball 279 00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:09,787 with one distractingly ugly guy behind home plate. 280 00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,967 It's two to two in the bottom of the sixth, 281 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:15,393 and I just can't get my eyes off that man with the tall head. 282 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,906 It's quite a game, but, man, that guy is ugly. 283 00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:19,475 - I'll say, Gary. - What's the count? 284 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,131 No idea, Bill. 285 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,479 But you know that guy hasn't blinked this entire game? 286 00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:26,537 Just a dead-eyed idiot out on a Thursday afternoon. 287 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,250 Yup. And the longer I watch him, 288 00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,475 the more I wonder if he's there by himself. 289 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,954 I think you're onto something there. 290 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,178 That seat next to him has been empty for hours. 291 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,624 Right you are, Gary. 292 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,115 I'm gonna see if I can hit him with my apple. 293 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,119 Ah, kind of short-armed it. 294 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:45,548 Oh, I'll get to the bottom of this. Take care, Donna. 295 00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:49,527 Cleveland didn't show up to my therapy session earlier, 296 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:52,208 and Donna says she hasn't seen him for two days. 297 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,465 Interesting. Interesting. 298 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,702 She also weirdly told me that she squatted 250 today. 299 00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,248 I'm not even sure if that's good. 300 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,638 It's scary good. 301 00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:03,441 Well, I am off to try and get out of this conversation. 302 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,643 Peter, what did you do? 303 00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:08,146 He was slightly inconveniencing me and Joe, 304 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,481 so we threatened to destroy his family. 305 00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:12,761 What? I know, right? It's pretty galling. 306 00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,064 No, I'm not taking your side, Peter. 307 00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:18,222 Whatever the hell you did, you go find him and bring him back. 308 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,758 All right, I'll go find him. God, I'm sorry. 309 00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:23,828 You're making me feel lower than a squid at the bottom of the ocean. 310 00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,999 Wow. It really inks in here. 311 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,247 What is that? 312 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,817 There you are. Listen up, Meg. 313 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,920 This TSA isn't sweaty enough for the two of us. 314 00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:50,555 What? What does that even mean? 315 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:54,291 It means, stay away from Larry. I'm his girlfriend. 316 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,961 You are? Oh, my God, I thought you were a boy. 317 00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,189 Oh, that's it! 318 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,768 I will cut you, bitch! 319 00:15:06,138 --> 00:15:08,439 Ow, that hurt a little bit! 320 00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:35,099 This ain't over. Larry is mine. 321 00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:38,703 What the hell? That was crazy! 322 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,939 Like, crazier than putting cops on Segways. 323 00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:45,220 Help, Officer! There's a lady being raped in that alley! 324 00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:48,713 Okay, hold on, let me do a small dippy-bob turn. 325 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,794 I couldn't be sure, but I think the man has a knife! 326 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,884 Are there any steps leading to that alley 327 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,821 or is it just a series of gentle ramps? 328 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,013 Okay, guys, Lois wants me to find Cleveland. 329 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,728 And since he eats, like, nine candy bars a day, 330 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,798 if we wait here at the convenience store, he's bound to show up. 331 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,867 Hey, can you buy us some beer? 332 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,714 Uh, I don't know, I don't think it'd be right. 333 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,548 I knew you weren't cool. 334 00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:15,751 Well, now, now, hold on a minute. 335 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,352 See? This is pretty cool, huh? 336 00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:20,878 Yeah, I guess. But what we could really use is some weed. 337 00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,390 I think that might be over the line. 338 00:16:22,414 --> 00:16:24,548 See? I told you this guy wasn't cool. 339 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,762 Well, now, now, hold on a minute. 340 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:29,219 Mr. Griffin, did you or did you not 341 00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:31,922 distribute alcohol and marijuana to minors? 342 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,435 No, Your Honor, I did not. 343 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:35,325 Told you this defendant wasn't cool. 344 00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:37,675 Well, now, now, now, hold on a minute. 345 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,933 Still no sign of Cleveland? 346 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,614 Yeah. I was thinking maybe our best bet is to just drive around town 347 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,070 and see if we can spot him. 348 00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,349 Okay, well, he's not at the mini golf course. 349 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,355 Okay, he's still not at the mini golf course. 350 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,819 Oh, wow. Look at that windmill. 351 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:04,199 Peter, do you want to go mini-golfing? Yes. 352 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:08,692 Well, he wasn't by the snow cones. 353 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,594 I love today! 354 00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,579 Hi, Meg. Larry, what are you doing here? 355 00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,281 I thought we were gonna meet at the Tumi store 356 00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,150 and see who buys luggage at the airport. 357 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,974 Meg, I've got some disturbing news. 358 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,109 Some gray security tubs have gone missing. 359 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,022 Oh, my God! The ones we have a zillion of, 360 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,891 but are somehow never there when people need them? 361 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:31,849 That's right. And I'm going to have to check your locker. 362 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,486 I don't need to tell you how serious this is. 363 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:40,057 Wait, Larry! I was framed! I bet it was Marla! 364 00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:44,462 I'm sorry, Meg, you're fired. I'm going to need your small, ridiculous tie. 365 00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:45,930 You're firing me? 366 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,665 I have a duty to this country. 367 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,934 And with people like you stealing tubs, 368 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,102 how are we ever going to catch Abu Nazir? 369 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,615 That's not even a real person. 370 00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:56,273 That's the terrorist from Homeland. And they caught him. 371 00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:57,374 Good-bye, Meg. 372 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,811 Good-bye, Larry. 373 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,716 Meg? 374 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:09,019 I'll miss the way you reminded people about their belts. 375 00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:19,430 We've looked everywhere. Where the hell could he be? 376 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,243 Guys, I think we need to embrace 377 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,668 the possibility that Cleveland never existed. 378 00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:26,536 Damn it, if only there was some kind of clue as to where he might be. 379 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,521 That's right, Cleveland had a deli! 380 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,144 We should check there! 381 00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,357 Cleveland! 382 00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:48,426 Cleveland! 383 00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:49,860 Sweet! Egg salad! 384 00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:54,031 Peter, this place has been closed for six years. 385 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,799 So what? Egg salad don't go bad. 386 00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,736 Son of a whore! Give me some milk! 387 00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,441 Okay, that helped. 388 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,209 Geez, this place is a dump. 389 00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:07,911 Yeah, it is, isn't it? 390 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,982 It's a symbol of all my failures. 391 00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,495 Cleveland! You're okay! 392 00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:16,287 I'm so glad we found you! 393 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,501 Hey, listen, I'm sorry we threatened to blab 394 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,736 about your bachelor party stripper stuff. 395 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:21,870 I'd never do that. 396 00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:23,172 'Cause that'd mean I'd have to talk 397 00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,508 to Donna, and that's just like... 398 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,732 And I'm sorry I caused such problems in your marriage. 399 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,769 Truth is, I was faking it as a therapist. 400 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,104 I've been back almost a year 401 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,274 and I still got nothing going on. 402 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:39,021 Hey, cheer up, Cleveland. I mean, Joe doesn't have a job, either. 403 00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:40,956 What are you talking about? I'm a cop. 404 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,380 Oh, wait, that's real? 405 00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:44,408 I thought that was, like, a Make-A-Wish thing. 406 00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:46,690 All right, come on, buddy. Let's get out of here. 407 00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:49,398 And, you know, even though therapy might not be your thing, 408 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:52,689 you've got a job, as my fourth-best friend. 409 00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:55,158 After the dog? After the dog. 410 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,367 Peter, thanks for going to find Cleveland and bringing him home safely. 411 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,181 Hey, that's what friends are for. 412 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,815 What about you, Meg? What'd you do this week? 413 00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,406 What, so you can make fun of me? 414 00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:09,840 No, Meg. I'm your father, 415 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:12,153 and I'm interested in what my daughter did this week. 416 00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:14,211 You promise you're not gonna make fun of me? 417 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,447 Of course, Meg. I care about my family. 418 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,916 But I feel like you're drawing this out, 419 00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:21,552 so when you do make fun of me, it'll hurt more. 420 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,353 What? Well, that hurts, Meg. 421 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,066 You know, you can be very hurtful. 422 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:27,558 I'm asking you, please, and you don't have to tell me, 423 00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:30,305 I want to know because I'm interested, what you did this week. 424 00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:32,963 It enhances my life to know how yours is going. 425 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:34,064 You promise? 426 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,011 Okay, well, now you owe me an apology. 427 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,636 I'm sorry. I'm not used to you wanting to know. 428 00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:40,871 Of course, I'd love to tell you what happened. 429 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,473 Then by all means. 430 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,586 It's just upsetting when you thumb your nose at the family. 431 00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:46,321 But I love you, and I'm looking forward 432 00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:48,490 to hearing what you have to say. 433 00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,915 Please. I'd like to hear. 434 00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,651 Oh, okay. Well, this is actually kind of funny. 435 00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:55,196 I joined the TSA... End of the show! 436 00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:58,589 ♪ Bah nah nah nah, Family Guy! Nah nah, start the credits 437 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:01,826 ♪ Lots of little names Nyah nyah nyah nyah guy! ♪